Helloooo~!

I am Lindsay Lohaaan~

For you numbnuts who haven't seen it, I present to you Achmed the Dead Terrorist:



****

I foresee the next couple of days where I get explosive diarrhea from eating too much watermelon.

Yellow watermelon.

Anyway I should mention what's going with me.

Okay done.

Next update will come very soon.

The Witcher - Zero Punctuation

You can see the original here.

I have tried the game and I only lasted about half an hour.

Outtaere

First of all, if you were on the bus 901 today and got elbowed in the head by a fat guy after the bus braked at around 5.55pm, that was me and I'm terribly sorry.

I have an announcement to make. All my regulars probably already know what has happened, but I'm just to going to say it here anyway.

I'm withdrawing from my course, and going for National Service.

Although I can't say that I've been playing with the idea for a long time, it certainly did look like it was coming. I feel that it is, therefore, necessary. It is a long story, but I find it very likely that you know or can guess how it goes.

To the people who would wish me the best, no matter how sincere, I thank you with the same sincerity.

And to the people who would glee in my failure, fuck you.

Well that's all I have to say for now. I'll be getting my confirmation of withdrawal soon and I'll have to contact CMPB after it comes.

I should take this chance to say some good things about my parents. They have been very supportive, and I know that they are despite their immense disappointment. I have always believed that I have better parents than I should deserve, and through all of these it has reinforced this belief.

I would also like to thank all the close friends that I have discussed this with, for their advice and their thoughts on the matter. This is not what some of you have suggested, but thank you nevertheless. I have made my decision and I think and hope that it is unlikely that I would regret this in the future.

One day I hope to come back here and think: And the rest is history.

Longest series of sarcastic questions ever

Since somebody I know has been so damn whiny and so damn sarcastic about it, I will now attempt to set a record. Here we go:

- Are you sure?

- What do you think?

- Does it matter?

- Will you, please?

- Oh, really?

- Is it?

- Can you?

- Do you really think so?

- Are you (blind/deaf/mute/lame/other assorted disabilities)?

- Who do you think I am, (Superman/God/other person or being of great power)?

- Do you think I really care if you think that others suck at teaching when out of the so many people, you are the only one who couldn't learn and you're actually dreaming of a grade jump?

Bloody hell I don't.

Cloverfield *spoilers warning*

First, the trailer:



*****

Cloverfield is a monster movie.

Whoa-kay, keep your pants on. It's... Not a Godzilla. I can't remember how Godzilla went, but if you liked it, good for you. Apparently everybody else didn't.

Let me try that again. Cloverfield isn't really a monster movie. It's a human movie. A monster movie is where you watch the show and you see that giant alien/mutant creature thing destroying the city and you have moments sometimes when you see this monster more and you actually feel for it, like when Godzilla fell and when King Kong... Fell too.

But in Cloverfield, you see the monster for a total of many ten minutes in the movie. No, seriously. Most of the movie is actually about the people, about how they run around and helping each other survive.

The movie was done in the first-person HandyCam view a la The Blair Witch Project, and even though there was a short moment in the movie when I started to get a little dizzy, it was quite well pulled off. There are scenes where the camera has to be put down and the scene has to play in the background, or when it stops and you see parts of the video of the main protagonist couple that it has recorded over.

It's not very action packed, though sufficiently filled with explosions and stuff, and I would say the most physically exciting thing the main characters did was probably that nightvision mini-monster chase in the tunnel. Or when Rob hacked one of them with a fire axe. Otherwise it was all about the main couple.

The story never went deep into the characters' backgrounds, but I thought it was reasonable. Trying to cram up too much character history would kill the realism it had did so well to portray, and what it had was enough to establish the relationships.

The character that was a joy to watch was of course the cameraman, Hud. He's one of those characters who you want to slap and root for at the same time.

All in all, Cloverfield was an awesome movie I think. If you have the time, I definitely say you watch it. It's story about a giant monster, it's a story about humanity, a story about survival and deep inside is a story about love.

Television

If there's one bad habit in life that I've cut down on, it's definitely watching television.

And for good reason.

All we get these days are local productions based on formulas that should have stopped working about five years ago, crappy Taiwanese idol dramas or that flood of K-dramas on Channel U.

I was at Woodgrove last night with Jo and Leo for dinner, and the TV was on. We watched a bit, and me being the TV know-nothing, asked them briefly for the plot. So Leo did most of the explaining since he's the one who's been following it seems, and it turned out to be everything short of spectacular.

It wasn't special, and there's a small part that had a slight resemblance to Infernal Affairs. The cast didn't even make sense! From which bugger's hat did the casting crew pull out the idea of casting Chew Chor Meng as Lee Nanxing's elder brother? The last TV show I remember that the both of them were in had Chew Chor Meng acting as a young lad and Lee Nanxing had a son.

There was also this newbie girl (I haven't seen her before so I assume she's a newbie) who looks a little like that Hong Kong actress whose name I won't be pulling out from anywhere anytime soon. She does look a little like Ann Kok from a certain angle and her character had this really fake looking scar on her forehead, and the first thing it reminded me of was Final Fantasy VIII.

I was, however, slightly amused when this supposed villain was made to eat a roasted pig's head and had to act like he was suffering all sorts of hell when, if you really thought about it, roasted pig is delicious.

At one point I commented on the taste of Singaporean viewers, that if a show had no clearly defined and designated bad guy, Singaporeans won't get it. If you had a show with real characters, they'll end up confused thinking, so who the heck am I supposed to be rooting here? And if the ending turned out to be remotely unsatisfying (good guys die, bad guys win, cliffhanger), they are quick to arms and bash it to the twenty-third level of hell.

I just came in from the living room after dinner, and I was forced to watch (like every weekday) this stupid Korean drama on Channel U. I found myself laughing out of sheer bewilderment at the amount of nonsense it had.

I'm just glad I don't watch TV anymore. Now, back to Prison Break...

The Jealousy Hoedown

(Sung to the Hoedown tune on "Whose Line Is It Anyway")

In case you don't know how the music goes:




Sleep is for the weak
Crying is for the sappy
Anger is for idiots
Laughing makes you happy

Nothing's quite like this
Emotion that you feel
Jealousy always seems
To bite you in the heel


Being so spiteful
Is really such a chore
Acting like nothing happened
Oh, what a bore!

If your furious envy
Had hurt someone so well
Well go pack your bags
It's time to move to hell


Too much thinking
Is never good for health
All the weird thoughts in your head
Only suck your wealth

Try to keep your head
Clean and bright and clear
But if you need some help
Here's a mug of beer


If someone hurts you
Don't curse them with hay fever
It's not very nice
Keeping it to yourself either

Go ahead and talk to them
Try it with some class
But if it doesn't work out
You can fuck them up the ass

(all) Fuck them up the ass~

*****

It's interchangeable with the Irish Drinking Song tune, but I like this one as a Hoedown because of Ryan's hatred for it because of the ending.

The Fool's Dream Irish Drinking Song

(Sung to the Irish Drinking Song tune on "Whose Line Is It Anyway")

In case you don't know how the music goes:



Oooooooooooooooh ai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai!

A dream is what it suggests
A foolish thought indeed
Delusions of grandeur
That's all he'll ever need

When you see a fool dreaming
Go poke him with a stick
If he starts to wakes up
Give his ass a kick

Ooooh ai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai!

Being so naive
Is really quite like me
The truth is so plain out there
Now why didn't I see

Would you just look here
This silly lumbering bloke
Every time I think of it
I laugh like I heard a joke

Ooooh ai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai!

Please don't be sorry
It's really not your fault
He'll never be secure
Not even in a vault

Dreaming a fool's dream
That's what he's been doing
What he really deserves
Is a really hard booing

Ooooh ai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai!

Now he's writing a song
To sing of stupidity
Is it really appropriate
Or even necessary

He wastes his life away
Saying it's a game
And when you think about it
Damn it's fucking lame

Ooooh ai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee dai!
Ooooh ai dee dai dee dai dee dai dee daaaaaiiiiii deeeeeeeee daaaaaaaiiiii deeeeeeeeee daaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!

****

Ah, what a happy song. It's actually interchangeable with the Hoedown tune.

The Bear and the Maiden Fair

A bear there was, a bear, a bear!
All black and brown, and covered with hair!
The bear! The bear!
Oh, come, they said, oh come to the fair!
The fair? Said he, but I'm a bear!
All black, and brown, and covered with hair!


And down the road from here to there!
From here! To There!
Three boys, a goat, and a dancing bear!
He danced and spun, all the way to the Fair!
The Fair! The Fair!


Oh, sweet she was, and pure, and fair!
The maid with honey in her hair!
Her hair! Her hair!
The maid with honey in her hair!


The bear smelled the scent on the summer air!
The bear! The bear!
All black and brown and covered with hair!
He smelled the scent on the summer air!
He sniffed and roared and smelled it there!
Honey on the summer air!


Oh, I'm a maid, and I'm pure and fair!
I'll never dance with a hairy bear!
A bear! A bear!
I'll never dance with a hairy bear!
He lifted her high into the air!
The bear! The bear!


I called for a knight, but you're a bear!
A bear! A bear!
All black and brown and covered with hair!
She kicked and wailed, the maid so fair!
But he licked the honey from her hair!
Her hair! Her hair!


Then she sighed and squealed and kicked the air!
My bear! She sang. My bear so fair!
And off they went, from here to there!
The bear, the bear, and the maiden fair!

Happy Birthday, Princess

Today you turn 16 *cough*20*cough* and you are now an even more beautiful woman.

Happy birthday, my princess, and I hope you have a celebration befitting a royal because you wholly deserve it. =)

Bitter

I am nothing but a bitter, bitter man.

Sorry I said the things I said.

It was uncalled for.

But still...

I Am Legend

*** WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD ***

I went out to watch this movie with Cat today and let me tell you, about half the entertainment came from seeing her clutching her bag in front of her like a shield throughout most of the movie (starting from around the point where the first zombie attack happens) and shrieking every once in a while when the movie decides to take a slow, scary pace.

I'll admit I jumped a few times too, but Cat was funny.

In any case, it wasn't as bad a movie as a lot of people I know have said. It was still kind of a zombie flick though, and I'm not a big fan of those.

All in all, it was decent movie, and I think you should watch it too.

******

I guess I'm just a paranoid idiot after all. =)

Disappointment

My last working production line!

The weekends. I only have to wait until the weekends.