Supersonic Hazardous Emissions (SHE)

Greetings all.

We are the Hazards Interception Movement (HIM), and we are here to talk about something very serious; something that has threatened our world for a long time. It has caused thousands of deaths and millions of dollars in lost property.

They are called the Supersonic Hazardous Emissions, also known as "SHE".

Not to be confused with the Taiwanese girl band of the same name, this one is of high destructive power that should be feared and eliminated.

This following statement would probably look very familiar:
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehh~!"

It is the sound a typical Japanese person, mostly women, would make when surprised or astonished. However it is not to be taken lightly. In rare cases of such exclamations have caused disasters to man and nature alike.

In normal exlamations, the source object will rise in pitch until it reaches its limit, shown in the graph below:


However, under the circumstances of a SHE, pitch behaviours become abnormal and rise rapidly, shown in the graph below:


Notice that the pitch approaches infinity at a point. This is true. When this occurs, all matter within 200 metres will reach resonance and shatter, as how a glass shatters under special circumstances. Living beings within the next kilometre that survive the initial eruption will suffer from severe brain haemorrage.

After the initial eruption a sonic zone, which is an indestructible radius of echoes, would remain within a radius of 1.5 kilometres and up to 3 kilometres of the hypocentre. What the echoes bounce on within this sonic zone remains a mystery.

However, HIM scientists have established a link between SHEs and the frequent earthquakes that occur in Japan, as the impact of stronger SHEs could have caused plate shifting. This leads to the suspicion that a SHE was the cause of the quakes in that led to tsunamis, and specifically in the Indian Ocean late 2004, causing tsunamis that killed hundreds of thousands in the Southern and Southeastern regions of Asia.

In order to ensure your own safety, it is advisable not to say anything potentially sensational, controversial or incredible to any Japanese speaking person around you within hearing range. This includes both native and non-native speakers.

However it is also advisable not to say these same things to other people outside of your own language group, especially languages that have been included into the "List of Potentially Harmful Languages".

You are however encouraged to continue speaking to people within your language group or language groups that have been included into the "List of Safe Languages". Speakers of many other languages have yet to be tested and sources of SHEs could be found in other areas.

For maximum security, it is in your best interest not to speak to any female at all. Various HIM studies have shown that up to 96.7% of the sources of SHEs are women aged in the range of 8 to 48. The remainder points to various groups of people commonly known as "Sissies" and "Trans".

We hope that this warning will be taken heed and action will be taken upon to make sure we are safe as humanity.

Remember that prevention is better than cure.

Regards,
Hazards Inteception Movement (HIM)