I had a briefly nice day. I shan't talk too much about it, it's going to be boring. Let's talk about friends.

What are friends for?

It's a rheotorical question, so nobody answers it. In fact, nobody can answer it because friends can be useful in so many ways...

It's such a thin line between "helping a friend" and "being used by a friend" that sometimes everyone gets confused and in one example, believes that taking the rap for a crime is helping. So what are friends for? Many would argue "to be there to celebrate with you when you are happy, and to save your ass when you're in a mess", but seriously, how many of your friends can you actually claim to be so? Will they come to your rescue if something happens to you?

Okay, maybe you haven't been in a sticky situation before, or you're one hell of an ego and claim that you don't need help. But let's consider this: you see, this is the selling point of all the gangs and secret societies. Loyalty. They say they will come to your help when you get into trouble. One day, a group of people armed with sticks come to you when you weer alone. You make a swift call, and your gang comes right away armed with knives and solves your problem. Ah, but wait: what caused that trouble?

Friends are the most influential people in our lives right now. As much as I hate to admit it, these people will affect you more than what your family does in this period. Look around. Are any of your friends bad influence? A few might be, but you probably wouldn't admit it.

Every person hungers for aknowledgement, especially those who are youngest in the family, who have been treated like they are: juniors. Then these people you meet treat you as equals. As an individual, not as someone's brother or someone's sister. You feel better around them, you give all your trust, and then...

You fall into the ultimate pit.

That is inevitable. Ultimate can mean anything at any age. It can mean little things, or big things like expulsion from school if you're a student, getting fired from your work or even getting punished by the law for a crime. Whether be it in a week, a month, a year, or even ten years. Some day you'll fall because of this wrong choices and you will regret it.

I've fallen once, and the pit wasn't very deep, and fortunately for me it was early enough for me to realise my mistake and my inability to judge. Now I can proudly say most of all my new friends since then are good influences and I can safely say I have learnt many things from all of them.

Just yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine about my school changing experiences. Since Primary school I have switch schools twice, including promotion to Secondary school. Each time I was transferred I was put into an environment where I knew nobody, and everybody else knew somebody. This puts me in a great disadvantage, don't you think? I never thought about that.

I've acted as a social reject for many years now, and I have learnt that there is no greater pain than loneliness. However, I still must consider how worthy someone is a friend. My father told me about his past, and I understand that he doesn't want me nor my sister to go the same way. I'm 16 now, and my pattern of friends is set.

However, my sister is in the period of time where friends become your life's biggest priority. You struggle for a standpoint in the great social circle in your school, and you make friends everywhere, regardless of worth.

Emotionalists might argue that friendship has no worth. If there is no worth, what are friends for? To just sit there and be claimed as a friend?

Animal instinct enables us to judge what is beneficial, and what is not. However, the great social matrix that it is today does not allow the instinct to function properly. That is why friends can be good or bad influences. That is the worth.

Friends are us to learn from, to teach, and to save us from loneliness, the greatest pain. But even though I have my family, and so many people I claim to be friends, there is one person I lack. The person that will truly free me from the greatest pain. But what kind of a role that person is going to play, I have to see. But I'm still waiting. I'll probably know when I meet that person, but it'll be difficult for someone like me.

I've been told I lack conifdence, because of me being overweight and don't exactly look good. This isn't pessimism, this is realism. As much as how everybody says "it's what underneath that counts", nobody wants to be seen with a monster. That is not due to a lack of confidence nor a pessimistic ideal. That is reality.

And I've grew to learn that reality sucks.