BC means Bull Crap

I went out today with the guys to watch 10000 BC. Let's get to that later.

So we met for lunch, but I already had it so we just talked while they ate. Talked about many things, and Gerald showed me what Pata Pon was about, and I got to see the PSP God of War game courtesy of Voon. It's quite interesting how the sex mini-game from the first God of War was also in this one.

So then we went up to see the movie. I had no clue how disappointed I was going to be. I have to honest. This movie sucks. And its promotional materials were very misguiding. You see the sabre-tooth the man with a spear is fending off in the poster? That sabre-tooth only appeared for a grand total of about a minute, and all the fighting it did was in the water during a rain when it almost drowned until our hero saves it. Then it appears later in a village our hero goes to, and it recognises him and decides to go off.

That's not even that bad.

We start with a bunch of people who are a little confused about who they are because they spoke in three different accents in the scenes.

Did I mention our hero has a father who left his village and was seen as a traitor until one day his mentor decides to tell him that his father was a visionary who left the village to seek new lands? At one point I almost believed the ultimate bad guy whom he killed was his father.

Of course this dude from a village of people sporting rastaman 'dos might seem like the central point of the story, but the real main character is this hot blue eyed chick they picked up when he was a boy and their loneliness brought them together. Girl approaches Boy. Boy pledges his love by a star. Boy and Girl falls and drowns in the river of Love.

So they grew up and one day a big bunch of horse-riding whities came in and went around capturing people, and of course the girl get captured and the boy of course decides to go after her, despite unable to track them in the bloody snow.

When our hero sets out to find his lost friends, I started to feel like I was in a bloody Final Fantasy sequel. You have the brash main character, the old mentor figure, and this young lad who knows nothing decides to follow along because his mother was killed in the raid. Now all it needs is a healer girl in a white robe.

The movie uses the single most overused plot mechanism, and especially in computer and video games set in the fantasy or sci-fi genres, the prophecy. And it's not just one, no. There were a whole three of them. The first one was acceptable, the second one had everybody laughing and by the time the third one appeared I could feel the massive amount of rolled eyes in the audience, including my own.

Let's talk about the geography. I'm rather curious about how you have miles and miles of snow covered mountains (where our protagonist comes from) and then all of a sudden you're in an overgrown tropical rainforest populated by giant man-eating dodos, and then only about another few klicks out you're in a desert populated by about a dozen different African tribes, who, after the movie's second prophecy came true, decides to join him in a big army to take down this god-king-like figure named Xerxes. Actually he wasn't named but he was also about a hundred metres tall and his voice was about as deep as voices could ever go.

I have concluded that the movie was made as an inside joke of the producers and the writers. It was as if they were sitting in the board room and throwing off ideas and somebody decided to include all of them just for the heck of it.

Anyway so I guess nobody comes around here anymore. You know that means you have to tag or comment to let me know you bloody exist, Mr./Ms./Mdm. Readership.

I'm listening to various Chopin pieces now. They're from these CDs I bought in Taiwan. And I actually recognise a few. Not bad.