I have realised

How truly lonely I am.

I only have my family.

My friends... People who wouldn't call me by that same term deep in their hearts. People I have trusted for all the wrong reasons.

I couldn't learn 4 years ago. Now I have to learn it. And cast it in my mind.

I am a true loner. A person whom no one would take as a friend. No one would come to me without a favour to ask, and like an idiot, I comply each time, thinking they would repay it in another way but it never comes.

Time and time again, I trust these people, I treat them well and all I ever get... Is betrayal.

Betrayal. A friend is a person sworn to not do it. And therefore I have no friends because time and time again I get betrayed and each time I stand up again and foolishly stand in the way of the next traitor and get whacked and run down to the ground.

And still I stand up and stay there like a moron waiting for the next one to come.

Now I will not stand and stay. I will stand, and I will fight. My cursed social life, and my cursed psychology.

Betrayal. Strange I should say that. Betrayed dozens of times by different groups of people each time since kindergarden to primary school to secondary school to now. Polytechnic.

It is where I see. I see.