Hit me!

So Singapore wants to build a casino, huh? Nooo! They want to build two!

I'm not thinking about social problems or the economical advantages or anything like that. I'm thinking about how some Singaporeans are going to embarass themselves at the casino.

Especially at the Blackjack table. I want to be in there watching some bozo who don't know the real rules of Blackjack going "Hey, you're not supposed to open the cards!" The dealer (most probably Chinese) would be like, "That's the rules, lah."

And then when that Singaporean gets "pai seh" enough, he leaves and never comes back again. That could probably help Singapore. And Singaporeans like me who prefer to play Blackjack like it should.

I would laugh my ass off. Definitely. And then you'll only see tourists at the some of the tables because these games never existed in Singapore. Like Craps (who the hell names a game after waste material?). Keno is just like Toto, except it takes place like about once an hour. I think.

Like what the hell can Singaporeans play when they go to the casino? Blackjack, Slots. That's probably all. I don't know a single Singaporean who knows the different types of poker. That includes myself. Like isn't there just one type? There's "Texas Hold'em", or whatever hold'em.

We got to take lessons before we go to the casino! And those superstitious ah jeks would be like "wah lau, haven't bet yet bao su already". And the Indian man at the back would be like "shuddup lah! people listening here lah!"

I can imagine people going in and having nothing to play. You lose $100 the moment you step in! That's right, folks. Singaporeans have to pay an entry fee. Not one or two dollars. A hundred! You have to have at least a hundred dollars with you. Well. A hundred and one. That one dollar you have your hopes pinned on.

Of course, nobody expects anybody to try and gamble with a dollar. You know how casinos work: If you want to walk out of there a millionaire, you must first walk in a multi-millionaire.